Gracias

I have chosen to be in a foul mood for days now; actually for a week now. I have said that to myself during this time: "I am choosing to be a prune right now" and taken quiet satisfaction in my gloom. Like Eyeore, I reveled in my rain clouds. The results have been shocking; do you know how much your mood affects what actually happens to you? I had no idea until I took stock of my last week. I was jolted out of my blue reverie by an overwhelming show of gratitude- I received three thank you notes and gifts today- unbelievable! So I thought I had to choose to let go of my pruny mood.
My blues resulted in speaking out of turn in a board meeting and the repercussions of doing so (not severe, but for my normally serene mood all present were speechless and shocked). Next, a communication break-down between myself and a colleague created tension which previously did not exist (still working to fix it). Finally, exhaustion, stress and that terrible, selfish feeling of "I'm doing everything, and not getting a darn thing in return- so I quit!". Now that I reflect, I know that if I had taken these instances with an attitude of detachment and observation- none of them would have fed a gloomy disposition and feelings of unfairness. It's all in perspective. Too often, when results do not meet our objectives we look at changing the actions we took to get there, rather than the perspective we began with.
So thank you Universe, and that means you blog reader- for caring for me even while I stepped under a grey sky and shot lighting bolts from my eyes. Thank you for shocking me out of it, with an overwhelming show of support and generosity. I serve to give it back to you.
Peace.

Raw Brownies

No, that is not a picture of a brownie...
I ran across a recipe for raw brownies from Ginger Lemon Girl, another GF blogger. She does not follow a Raw Food Diet, but plays with her food like so many other bloggers with dietary restrictions. You must try these brownies- no cook, choclatey and dense. There is no sugar aside from the natural fruit sugars, and the only fat comes from the nuts you use. I added coconut butter to mine, for flavour, but that is optional. They are versatile- can be brownies in a pan, or small, molded bites or balls. They only take about 5 min to process together, and 10 min to firm in your refrigerator if you wish. You can find the original recipe and photo of Ginger Lemon Girl's brownie bites at her fabulous blog. You'll have to go there to get a visual of these delights as mine were devoured far too fast for food styling photography. They were also quite the conversation piece while we were mowing them down- it's great to bring a different treat to the office. Here is my recipe, adapted:

Raw Brownies
1/2c frozen almonds
1/2c frozen pecans
1/2c dates, soaked in warm water for 5 minutes, or overnight in fridge
3 Tbsp best quality cocoa butter (you'll want to go good on this, the cocoa taste is defined only by the cocoa)
1/2Tbsp coconut butter
3Tbsp agave nectar
Process frozen almonds and pecans in a food processor until they form a fine meal- use a blender if you don't have a processor. Add dates, cocoa, coconut butter and agave nectar. Process until you have a thick, uniformly cocoa-colored mass. Press into a loaf pan or mini-muffin tin, or roll into balls and refridgerate.
If you like those Brownie Bites, then try this recipe instead next time you are craving that chocolate bite.

I am my healthiest when...

Do you know when you are at your peak performance level? When are you the most healthy, the most 'well'? I returned from my business trip to Boulder at the healthiest I have been in years, and I began to wonder why that was. I ate out every meal, I enjoyed one glass of wine a day, I indulged in chocolate and gluten free brownies or cookies every day. I didn't even do any cardio! No cardio for 5 whole days!
I returned from my next business trip to Vancouver in the worst state I've been in since I began healing months ago. So I began looking at the similarities and differences between my states of being between those two trips and I came up with a list which outlines when I am at my most healthy or well. This will be a path for me to take each day, so I ensure that when I climb into bed for my much-needed rest I can lie with the notion that I have become healthier, happier and better that day.
To create your own list, think about when you were the healthiest in your life- not when you looked your best, although it was probably also true. When you are healthy- you glow. Disregard weight, or how skinny/fat you were or are. You will know when you felt the greatest, when you were at your peak. Write a list of what you did at that time to create such a great force within yourself...and follow those simple steps, day to day. This can eliminate the need for dieting, and self-deprivation. It can free you of the emotional and intellectual burden of stress around confidence and self-esteem.
My list is here:
I am most healthy when...
1. I meditate every morning
2. I complete sun salutations every morning
3. I walk
4. I think positively about my beauty and intellect
5. I open my heart and personal space to those around me, even strangers
6. I enjoy a glass of wine, or the highest quality chocolate without guilt or retribution
7. I put good care for myself above all else
8. I use sesame oil on my face and body instead of soap every morning and night
9. I eat no glutenous foods
10. I eat slowly and with great awareness and gratitude
11. I do not restrict foods and enjoy treats
12. I eat every 4-5 hours
13. I eat fresh melons, berries, and other watery fruit and vegetables like peppers, cucumbers and mushrooms
14. I start the day with yogurt, fruit, protein and cereal
15. I do limited stressful physical activity
16. I hold good posture with poise
17. I relax
18. I do not stress my skin
19. I live according to my mantra: To serve others as the most peaceful and healthy person I can be
When I'm at my healthiest, I am free from the nagging thoughts that I'm not thin enough, that I'm not working hard enough on my appearance, that all my efforts result in not...and I walk each step like I'm on a catwalk.